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OUR DEAD SELVES 





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OUR DEAD SELVES 

ANTHOLOGY OF THE LOWLY 

BY 

PAUL ELDRIDGE 
u 

NEW YORK 
BOULUON-BIGGS 

1923 


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rS3^09 
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Copyright, 1923 , by 
Boullion-Biggs, Inc. 


AU Rights Reserved 


PRINTED IN u. S. A. 

©ciA7ee825 

JAN 31'2-1 


'viv j 



PREFACE 


Whether or not the vanity of human wishes is 
sufficiently important to justify the pessimism of 
Paul Eldridge does not concern me in writing a 
few words of preface to this “anthology of the 
lowly.” Paul Eldridge, by a fusion of the in¬ 
tellectual and plastic elements of the art of language 
has presented himself to me and many another as 
one of the most unusual literary figures of the 
time. 

These reveries of dead animals (animals which, 
because they have never troubled to extract the 
square root of numbers, we call lower) reflect the 
pessimism of Paul Eldridge in regard to the destiny 
of man and of all other created forms. How they 
can fail to arouse delight in the philosophically- 
minded or in those who appreciate the beauty of 
language, it is difficult for me to see. Paul Eld¬ 
ridge is the symbolical pessimist; even the yea- 
sayers, if they have delved into the mystery of 
being, must take a grim joy in his conclusions. 
And the aesthetic observer must admire the vesti- 


[ 5 ] 


ture of these conceptions, for Mr. Eldridge atones 
for his paucity of sensuous cadences with the 
splendor of his imagery. 

Many of the poems in “Our Dead Selves” ap¬ 
peared originally in All's Well and a number of 
the others in The Double Dealer, I recommend 
these verses unqualifiedly to all intelligent or 
aesthetically-minded readers. If they obtain from 
them a small portion of the pleasure which I have 
obtained from them, they will join me in hailing 
Paul Eldridge as one of the most original, one of 
the most challenging, and, on occasions by no 
means rare, one of the most satisfactory artists in 
word and thought of his day in America. That 
he is such, indeed, he has proved long before this 
in certain work collected in “And the Sphinx Spoke” 
and “Vanitas.” 

John McClure. 


[ 6 ] 


CONTENTS 


PAGE 


ROOSTER. 11 

HEN . 12 

GIRAFFE. 13 

FISH . 14 

ANT . 15 

OX. 16 

CRICKET. 17 

ASS. 18 

DOG. 19 

ROSE. 20 

HORSE. 21 

SPIDER . 22 

HYENA. 23 

FOX. 24 

DEER.. 25 

HOG . 26 

MONKEY. 27 

WOLF. 28 

LAMB. 29 

SHRUB . 20 

TREE. 21 

MOUSE. 22 


[ 7 ] 
























PAGE 


CAT. 

CRANE. 

OYSTER. 

CHAMELEON. 

MOTH. 

BUTTERFLY . 

ELEPHANT. 

SPARROW . 

MOCKING-BIRD. 

DUCK. 

CUCKOO. 

GOAT. 

FLEA. 

FROG. 

PORCUPINE . 

CAMEL. 

GOOSE. 

PARROT. 

GANDER. 

SWAN*. 

SNAKE. 

WORM. 

BOA-CONSTRICTOR 


33 

34 

35 

36 

37 

38 

39 

40 

41 

42 

44 

45 

46 

47 

48 


49 

50 

51 

52 

53 

54 

55 

56 


[ 8 ] 

























PAGE 

CRAB. 57 

BAT. 58 

OSTRICH. 59 

BEAR. ( 60 

LION. 61 

OWL . 62 

DAISY-SEED. 63 

ROBIN . 64 

FLY . 65 

RIVER. 66 

SQUIRREL. 67 

PEACOCK . 68 


[ 9 ] 


















ROOSTER 


np'HE Sun was a red balloon 
^ Which I blew high—high— 
Beyond the mountain peaks, 

And balanced on the sharp point 
Of my crowing. 

As my head was chopped, 

I heard a loud and sudden clap— 

I knew the Sun had burst. 


[H] 


HEN 


HE Sun did not burst, 

When your head was chopped, 
Arrogant one,— 

Our young Rooster balanced it. 
Lustily, 

Upon the tip of his great crest,— 
And the number of eggs 
We laid for him, 

With merry cackling. 

Was double. 


[12] 


GIRAFFE 


T N vain I stretched to its root my neck 
Until it overtopped the tallest tree,— 
The stars to mock me, 

Flew higher still. 

Now my shadow stretches 
Across all Infinity,— 

But where are the stars? 


[13] 


FISH 


HE stars were not up, Giraffe, 

The stars were in the depths of lakes. 
I swallowed many. 

The worms tasted much better. 

But they were more dangerous. 


[ 14 ] 


ANT 


T WAS dragging my last load 
To my well-filled cell, 

Certain of a sumptuous Winter-life, 

The recompense of Summer labor. 

An object lesson to the idle cricket. 

When the foot of God stepped heavily on me. 
And crushed me— 

I do not complain, O Lord, 

Thou knowest best! 


[15] 


ox 

TT was not the foot of God 
That crushed you, Ant, 

It was my giant-hoof 
On my way to the slaughter-house. 
God does not defile himself 
By slaying greedy vermin— 

He slashes only the wide necks of oxen. 
His chosen race. 


[16] 


CRICKET 


OLAVE on, mad ants, 

^ And let the hooves of oxen 
Crush you and your hordes! 

I have chirped my humble note 
In the eternal symphony of songs, 
I, the insouciant troubadour, 

And no'W, 

This final gesture of my love 
To the grasses of the Earth, 

This last signal of my pity 
To the crushed slaves! 

Adios! 


[17] 


ASS 


WOULD barter eternal Paradise 
With its infinite clover-field 
For a day on Earth, 

In which my former master 
Should take the shape I had, 

And I his. 

And in my hand an unused stick— 

His braying would proclaim to all the world 
The great error of the proverb, 

Which he always mingled with his blows— 
“Patience is the greatest virtue.** 


[ 18 ] 


DOG 


I T is not for the spirits of Asses 
To judge their former masters 
Or their proverbs. 

Life broke many a heavy stick 
On the back of your master— 

A faithless wife, wicked children, 

Stony ground, swollen knees— 

It is much nobler to say; 

“Patience is the greatest virtue**, 

Than kick stupidly your hind-legs. 

Had you understood this, soul of an ass. 

Your master would have wept over your carcass 
As he did over mine. 


[ 19 ] 


ROSE 


body was mercilessly crushed 
In the long and passionate embrace 
Of two lovers. 

Generations of roses have blossomed and withered, 
But my soul lives on 
Vague and shapeless, 

In the pinched nostrils 
Of the old woman. 

Is this the meaning of immortality? 


[ 20 ] 


HORSE 


BRONZE statue of yourself 



^ Over a deep trough, 
With the rusty inscription: 
“Drink, gentle horses, drink”. 
In the square of a great City, 
Where horses never pass now, 
And the water never runs,— 
That is immortality, 

Gentle spirit of a red Rose. 


[21] 


SPIDER 


T WAS Time’s ironic Symbol— 

Within my crafty labyrinth 
I entangled and captured vast Empires, 
Fame, Glory, Beauty— 

I crumbled them, 

Slowly, 

Finely— 

And the sportive winds 
Made thin high spirals of their dust: 
Hope, frozen shadows of the deep Night! 
I shall spin a strong, intricate web 
I shall weave it about the Great Circles 
Of the black Infinity— 

Death, like a silly fly. 

Shall tumble into it— 

I shall crush him 

Within my long subtle arms— 

The awakened wind shall make 
Thin high spirals of his dust! 


[22] 


HYENA 


■p MPIRES, Beauty, Fame, 

I unearthed with my snout 
And munched them— 

But Death, frozen shadows. 
Munches snouts, 

And swallows intricate labyrinths 
And subtle master-spiders— 

Hope is the gurgle of his laughter. 


[23] 


FOX 


nnO have prospered long by your cunning, 
Captured hens and ducks and lambs— 
To have slipped out of the hands of shepherds, 
And the very teeth of dogs— 

And then— 

To have put your paw 
Slowly— 

Deliberately— 

Into a trap, so evident 

That even brainless sheep avoid— 

Is this Destiny or sheer stupidity? 


[ 24 ] 


DEER 


T T is better for gentle and timorous deer 
To feel the sudden thrust 
Of the long, sharp knife 
In their throats— 

It is better to be a shadow, 

Grotesque and still, 

In the endless silence 
Of the great Night— 

The Earth is for the fierce, the cruel, the cunning. 


[25] 


HOG 


T WAS my master’s nearest kin, 

Brother by the mystic fellowship 
Of the sole reality,—flesh. 

Mud was the Sacred Symbol of his life, 

And Mud was mine. 

In Mud splashed our dreams and our desires. 
Heaven, the infinite Puddle, 

Softer, smoother than the grease of swine, 
Overbrimming with red luscious cobs. 

To wallow in, and grunt my endless rapture 
Shall be my merited reward! 


[26] 


MONKEY 


ir^OR a tongue that mocks, 

And a brain that lies, 

O wicked descendants. 

You have bartered the Sacred Tail, 
On which you swung in joy. 

Like a leaf in the wind. 

And relinquished forever 
The only Kingdom of Heaven, 

And the love of the mighty God, 
The thousand-tailed One. 


[27] 


WOLF 


^■^y^HENEVER the flesh of lamb 
Filled to the brim my belly, 
And I stretched out 
Upon the cool, thick grass. 

To blink at the moon, 

I knew in utter ecstasy 
That I was the God of Creation, 

And within me extended, 

Boundless, 

The Kingdom of Heaven. 

This, soul of a bigoted Monkey, 
Begetter of stupid descendants. 

Is the truth of God and of Heaven. 


[28] 


LAMB 


^/r AN called me God 
And stabbed me; 

Wolf called me Kingdom of Heaven, 
And tore me to bits— 

It is better to be a blade of grass, 

Yellow-tipped. 

Disdained by the milk teeth of lambs. 
Than a God and a Kingdom of Heaven. 


[29] 


SHRUB 


//^OD is the tall grey Oak, 
Whose thick, cold shadow 
Smothered me,— 

God is mighty. 


[ 30 ] 


TREE 


QOME Winter, 

^ My large, black trunk 
Now rotting in the mud. 

Devoured by ants and caterpillars. 
And scorned by birds. 

Shall be thrust into the wide mouth 
Of the God of Resurrection, 

And changed 

Into a great scarlet Rose. 


[31] 


MOUSE 


availed you, red-eyed Cat, 

^ ^ The steely claws that tortured me. 
The thin sharp tongue 
That licked in greed my blood? 

Death is not a grey-skinned Mouse 
Trembling with fright and anguish 
Before the shadow of a Cat! 


[32] 


cAt 


QQUATTING 


^ Motionless 

In the frozen shade of Time, 

I remember 
With infinite regret 
The exquisite taste 
Of your delicate flesh— 

The pride of this, 

Sarcastic mouse, 

Should much outweigh the torture 
Inflicted by my earthly claWs. 


[33] 


CRANE 


N vain I threw the pebbles, 
One by one . 

Into the thin-necked pitcher, 
Hoping to raise the water 
To my beak. 

The water turned to mud, 
Save a drop or two, 

Which too exhausted, 

I could not drink,— 

I died— 

A pebble in my throat— 
Eternal symbol of futility. 


[34] 


OYSTER 

I OPENED very wide 
My large, soft mouth 
To utter to the Cosmos, 

The truth of things. 

Life, angered—scared, 

Locked me tightly 
Between two shells of stone, 

And stifled me ... . 

I died in humble martyrdom. 
Divine and cherished recompense 

Of silent oysters. 

The Sea remembers me always. 
And laments. 


[35] 


CHAMELEON 


IT WAS Beautiful Falsehood, 
And the Earth, my Mirror, 
Round and dazzling. 

Reflected in quick succession. 

My multitudinous Selves . . . 
Truth, 

Slimy, one-skinned Snake, 

Whose cold, heavy shadow 
Devours the Sun, 

Broke my Mirror,— 

And I died. 

Now, 

Over the stray bits 
Of thin crystal. 

The quivering blue shadows 
Of frightened birds. 

Repose an instant. 

And dash away. 


[36] 



MOTii 

If DANCED about a star, 

And burnt— 

Alas for the moth that pities me! 

To have kissed the flames of beauty once, 
And died in her voluptuous embrace. 

Is worth a long infinity of lives 

Spent in dull security 

Amid the dusty threads of cloth. 


[37] 


BUTTERFLY 


1P> ECAUSE one’s wings are gaudy, 

And one can dash across a sunlit field, 
And sip a flower’s perfumed honey. 

One is called happy, and gay, and frivolous— 
I died of sheer despair and lonesomeness 
In the chalice of a red rose. 


[38] 


ELEPHANT 


qnce, 

As in deep despair 
I stood 
Motionless, 

Like a thing in death, 

A sparrow perched upon my trunk. 
And chirped 
A passionate defiance 
To the brutal makers 
Of iron bars and locks . . . 

It was my soul 

Dressed in bits of grey feathers 
And a tiny beak, i., 


[39] 


Sparrow 


W AS it your trunk, 
Bulky Elephant, 

On which I perched 
To chirp 

A passionate reproval 
To my fickle mate. 

That hid among the leaves 
Of a neighboring tree? 

Had you stood still. 

As a thing in death. 

Or swung in languid rhythm, 
Like a branch in the breeze, 

I should not have flown off 
To be captured and eaten 
By the treacherous Cat! 


[ 40 ] 


MOCKING-BIRD 


p) ECAUSE in Life 
I imitated 

Every bird and every beast, 

And was not Myself,— 

In Death, 

I am but a thousand bits 
Of ill-assorted shadows,— 

Beaks, and fangs, and wings. 

And hooves, and furs, and feathers.— 
A thing grotesque. 

And ludicrous,— 

A tortured soul 
Of a mocking bird— 

The sole inhabitant of Hell! 


[41] 


DUCK 


np'O all who hear me, 

Listen: 

Walk slowly, 

Your feet widely spread. 
Touching and testing 
Earth’s solidity. 

Measure every step. 

And miss not one, 

Quack from time to time. 
Cautiously, 

And capture, when convenient, 
A wriggling worm. . . 

Thus, in fat perfection 
You shall become 
The envy of lean dogs. 

And the great terror 
Of evil birds and hunters,— 
And at last. 

Over your crisp carcass 


[42] 


The world shall utter grace, 

With bent head. 

In Thy name, 

White Lady of Ducks, 
Quack! Quack! 


[43] 



CUCKOO 


//^^UT of the Nest Eternity, 

My spirit, 

Wooden-clad, 

Wings his way to Earth, 

And perching on the lower lip of Time, 
Calls in quick cadences. 

The fate of Life and Death,— 

“Cuckoo! 

Cuckoo!” 


[ 44 ] 


GOAT 


J BUTTED Life, 
Ceaselessly, 

With my two strong horns— 
My horns broke— 

Life goes on, 

Unscathed— 

Who is this breaker of horns? 


[ 45 ] 


T WAS the knight errant 
Of insects 
Seeking adventure. 

I winged my way 
In eager quest— 

Man, dog, monkey, hen, 

I bit them all. 

And everywhere. 

I learned too late, 

As I was squeezed and crushed 
Between the two great thumbs 
Of Death, 

That all flesh tastes alike. 


FROG 


the silly vanity 
That made me puff and puff, 
Until my speckled skin burst, 

And I was left a shapeless spirit, 

I am not ashamed— 

But sharper than a crooked hook. 
That pierces the belly. 

Is the bitter and constant regret 
That the one I wished to equal 
Was but an ox. 


[ 47 ] 


PORCUPINE 
TF I had not slept profoundly 
When Death came upon me, 

I would have raised my sharp quills 
And pierced him— 

I would have lived forever— 

Sleep is the foe of life. 


[ 48 ] 


CAMEL 


W ERE the long yellow desert beneath me, 
And the long blue desert above, 

And the slow, weary trudging, 

Dreams of a night’s sleep, 

Or is this black desert. 

Motionless like a dead wind, 

A deep dream, 

From which I shall wake 
To trudge once more, 

Between the long yellow dessert 
And the long blue desert? 


[ 49 ] 


GOOSE 


^^TOW that I am dead, 

^ I may explain the mystic meaning 
Of my ceaseless cackling: 

I warned the world, and prophesied: 

“The sun will drown in the puddle! 
The Sun will drown in the puddle!” 

I was shooed, 

And mocked at. 

And slaughtered. 

My prophecy has come to pass— 

The Earth is a black desert. 

The Sun lies sunken in the mud. 


[ 50 ] 


PARROT 


sun would have drowned 
^ In the puddle, 

And the Earth become 
A black desert, 

Bird of evil omen. 

Had I not flapped my wings. 

And screeched ceaselessly 
To the gods of all bounties 
Life’s cosmic symbol,— 

“Polly wants a cracker! 

Polly wants a cracker!” 


[ 51 ] 


GANDER 


ITirAD I only cared to stretch 
My strong, white neck 
Above my wives’ and sisters’ heads, 
I could have easily become 
A tall swan— 

I believed in necks of equal size— 

I lived— 

And died— 

A GANDER! 


[ 52 ] 


SWAN 


U PON the smooth cool lake 

Bordered by frail, sad willows, 
We sailed, 

Slowly, 

Dreaming, 

The two of us,— 

One white. 

One black. 

Breast on breast. 

The world burst in flames. 

The willows dropped into the lake. 
The lake bent, and plunged 
Into a deep abyss . . . 

The white one vanished. 

The black is left to mourn 
Upon the silent, frozen shore 
Of Endlessness. 


[ 53 ] 


SNAKE 


TN life I yearned to stand erect, 
And overtop my mortal foe, man. 
In abject disillusion I dragged myself 
Thru mud and dust—a giant worm— 
In death, my stuffed skin hangs 
A perfect perpendicular, 

The full length of a high wall. 


[ 54 ] 


WORM 


T^ILIGENTLY, 

Patiently, 

With exquisite technique, 

I ate my way 

Into the many-seeded heart 
Of a luscious apple. 

The fruit turned yellow. 
Shrank, 

And fell— 

An ass’s hoof stepped upon it. 
And crushed me. 

Was this justice or a jest? 


[ 55 ] 


BO A-CONSTRICTOR 


S LOWLY, 

Silently, 

Like the soft, round steps of Sleep 
I wound and wound myself 
About her tiny body. 

Until she shivered, 

And opened very wide 
Her thin, hard beak. 

Then, 

Like a charming, considerate host, 
I hissed : 

“Sing me, little birdlet. 

As you sang to the roses 
A while ago.” 

This, soul of a Worm 
Is Earth’s greatest jest. 


[ 56 ] 


CRAB 


Earth crept backward, 
Stumbling, 

I grasped it by my pincers, 

And pulled it forward. 

In perfect balance. 

At my death. 

It sprawled upon its back 
Its ten legs in the air, 
Wriggling. 


[ 57 ] 


BAT 


IVTEITHER gnawing rat 
^ Nor garrulous bird, 

A non-conformist, 

Proud and solitary, 

I was hated and mocked 
By all the vulgar beasts 
Of field and forest— 

I died, entangled, 

In the long and golden hair 
Of a woman— 

Death proves the merit of our lives 


[ 58 ] 


OSTRICH 


Tjr AD I cared to face 
My vulgar foes 

In their shameless hunt for me, 
Across the boundless desert, 

I could have swallowed them. 
Like bits of glass or stone, 
Shaking my long neck. 

Instead, 

In uttermost disdain, 

I hid my head within the sand, 

And raised to highest peak 

My plucked posterior self, 

Remembering 

That pride is dearer far 

To noble ostriches 

Than life. 


[ 59 ] 


BEAR 


nr'WO legs in the air, 

Two legs on the ground, 

I turned, 

And danced 
To the happy music 
Of a trumpet. 

And the lusty beating 

Of a drum. 

Man praises my descendants, 

And calls them tame and friendly— 
I am satisfied. 


[ 60 ] 



LION 


ip^ANCE, vulgar clowns, 

To the music of a trumpet, 
And the beating 
Of a drum— 

My descendants. 

Proud and mighty as myself, 
Shall roar on forever. 

Their great and mortal hatred 
For the puny dancing master, 
Man. 


[ 61 ] 


OWL 


T FORETOLD the death of many— 

But one second before my own occurred, 
I closed my eyes and thought 
Of a nest of little mice, 

And the bounty of the god of owls. 

What is wisdom, if it cannot teach you 
When to spread your wings, and fly; 

If it cannot hinder your becoming 
A stuffed owl upon a mantlepiecc? 


[ 62 ] 


DAISY.SEED 

TT WAS ready to burst the Earth 
And greet triumphantly the Sun— 
An iron shovel uprooted me, 

And dug a deep grave— 

Did the clamorous mourners 
Weep the death of my golden dreams? 


[ 63 ] 


ROBIN 


TTAD I not sung in rapture 

The sudden rising of the Sun, 

I should not be stuffed feathers now 
Glaring out of glass-beads. 

It is much better to be a duck 
Measuring the steps of your flat feet, 
While munching living worms. 


[ 64 } 


FLY 


T N the presence of the gods 

A fly should be humble and inconspicuous, 
Or else, like me, he will be crushed, 

And mingled with the dust of floors. 

Alas, the vanity of buzzing! 


[ 65 ] 


RIVER 


is life? What is death? 

^ ^ Old waters pass me on forever, 
To flow, forgotten, in the Sea— 

New waters come to me forever, 

Soft white nets which capture 
Old moons, new moons— 

What is life? What is death? 

Old waters—new waters— 


[ 66 ] 


SQUIRREL 

T TRIED to capture life 

Within my upper paws, 
And crack it, 

With my small white teeth, 
Believing it a luscious nut— 

It always slipped my claws. 
Being highly polished, 

Like the wind that blew 
Thru the leaves of trees. 

Now I know what Life is, 

And how it must be cracked,— 
But what is Death? 


[ 67 ] 


PEACOCK 


T IFE, Spirit of a Squirrel, 
Is the proud out-spreading 
Of gorgeous plumes, 

Death is a bundle of plumes 
Tied together, 

Moth-eaten, 

Wiping the dust of chairs. 


[ 68 ] 













































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